One. Two Three. All Eyes On Me.

In the land of the free and the home of the brave, one thing rings true: the individual reigns supreme over their life.

It doesn’t matter what the government claims as legal or illegal.

It doesn’t matter what our pastors remind us of.

It doesn’t matter what our coaches scream at us.

It doesn’t matter what our parents teach us.

It doesn’t matter what common sense would tell us.

The fact of the matter is that we bought into the self-righteous (spiritual or not) notion:

We are in charge.

We own our bodies.

We deserve only the best for ourselves.

We choose our own path.

We rule our own worlds.

We call the shots.

The world revolves around us.

We claim that we don’t know where it comes from. But in our hearts and minds we know that it’s fed to us every day.

From McDonald’s slogan “Have It Your Way”

To the iPhones that bring us entertainment in an instant

From the fast food drive thrus

To the commercials that are fitted for our every pleasure

From the mail man

To the remote control

From the malls

To the gyms

It’s about us.

Decisions based on individual feelings rather than transcendent, universal truth

Lives lived for the sake of self rather than the sake of others.

And yet in all of this… who do we not blame for accepting this silly myth?

Us.

We are the innocent bystander.

We are the martyr.

The victim of an egotistical culture.

We have been brainwashed.

Yet, if we knew that all this was false, why did we fall prey to the trap?

Because we loved the idea that all eyes are on us.

Because we loved that we are in control.

That we are the kings.

That we are gods.

How then can we even perceive anything other than through the lenses of self-seeking?

We read the Bible and understand it as a bunch of good stories with good morals.

But in the end, we don’t have to obey everything or accept everything as truth because after all, truth is relevant to everyone right? After all, we know what’s best for ourselves.

We pray and ask that our will be done on earth and also in heaven

But we laugh at the notion that God would claim supreme authority over everything. Even us. After all, he is an American and the divine government is democracy right? A government by the people and for the people

We stand and sing songs about God, not for God

In our minds, we deserve the praise and honor.

No, no and no.

What’s the problem with all of this: us.

We are the sinners that claim that we can save ourselves.

We are the sick that claim we are healed.

We are the blind that claim we can see.

We are the fools that claim to be wise.

And in this disillusion, the cancer of sin eats away at our emotions, our thoughts, our eyes, our ears, our families, our friends, our life.

And after sin has had its way and driven its path of destruction through our existence, what are we left with?

Ourselves.

Which is what we wanted, right?

May we see our lives as the Bible actually reveals us to be:

creatures wonderfully and fearfully made by a loving Creator

pots shaped to fit and form by the Potter

helpless sheep in need of a Guiding Shepherd

humans on earth in desperate need of God.

May we get up off our thrones and couches of individualism to seek the Lord in spirit and in truth.

May we repent.

May we despise the sin within us.

May we stop putting ourselves at the center of this universe.

God is waiting for us, waiting for us to get out of our own way and come home to His arms. What will you do?

“Therefore the LORD⁽waits to be gracious to you,
   and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.
For the LORD is a God of justice;
   blessed are all those who wait for him” (Isaiah 30:18)

Refer to the Syllabus

In my possession: New paper (with new-paper-smell), Unsharpened #2 pencils, a variety of pens with different colors (which will end up being more than enough for the year), binders, a sling bag or backpack (depending on how cool I want to be that year), new clothes (to impress the adults and to get the ladies looking), anxiety, excitement, hope.

Oh, the first day of school.

One of the most slow-going and monotonous days of the year.

Let’s not pretend that we look forward to this day.

Yes, we get to see our friends. Yes, there is excitement that we actually get to do something with our lives other than wear out the couch cushions, which is the result of too much summer television watching. The newness is the most exciting part. It thrills us because it is something to do.

Then… you walk into the classroom… sit at your desk…and the same terror and anxiety that had consumed your mind only a few short months before comes screaming back. It is funny how are minds completely forget this stress in the enjoyment and laziness of summer. But with one rude sound of a school bell, or the simple phrase “Welcome Back to School”, your mind is sent into a downward plunge… inevitably into the thought, “I wish it was still summer.”

And yet, the first day of school is also one of the most important days of the year. So while your mind is having déjà vu and rediscovering a whole new world again, you must sit up and pay attention because the next few hours could make or break you.

This day is the day of the syllabus. (You know, that thing that you usually look at once in the classroom and pretend that you are paying attention to while the teacher goes over it. But really, you are thinking how wonderful this will be to throw away after class. You don’t even think twice about keeping it just in case you need it. That syllabus.)

The idea of a syllabus is simple:

Explains what you will do in a certain class during the semester/year.

Explains the goals and things that you should know how to do after taking the class

Lists class rules

List tests dates (usually. Some Teachers like to keep you guessing and don’t provide this portion.)

Lists projects

List contact information

Basically, anything that you need to know about succeeding in this class is put right in front of you. You are given all of the information that you need. This leaves little to no room for excuses.

And yet, we find those times and means to do so.

There will come time during that class where a Test or assignment will come up that no one apparently knew about and the teacher’s simple words will be:

“If you kept the syllabus, which I handed out on the first day of school, you would not be surprised by this. So I would suggest you refer to the syllabus.”

And usually, you look. And there it is. Black and white. Can’t be mistaken. So now the question in your mind is: Have I been missing something all along in this class? Is it really what I have thought it was all this time?

Similarly:

I am at church, a child. Down on my knees. Praying. Asking God to forgive me. Asking Him to be my friend. Asking Him to save me. Asking him to make me new.

I pray the prayer. I walk back to my seat next to my friends. The church service ends. I walk out and continue on with my day…

As the years pass, I notice things in my life that started to frighten and alarm me.

I realize how much more is wicked about me.

I realize that everything that about me is changing.

I realize that I am being pressed in my heart and mind to do things that aren’t comforting or necessarily enjoyable.

I realize that I am being asked to give up everything. Not just mentally and spiritually, but physically as well.

This is not what I signed up for…

Or is it?

I bring my complaints to God. His response: Refer to the syllabus (His Word).

Maybe I am the only one. But growing up, the way that my brain processed believing in Jesus was not this deny yourself, take up your cross daily kind of life.

It was the distorted version of Jesus (which isn’t Jesus at all).

It was the: Pray to God and he will heal your sicknesses.

Obey God and He will give you money.

Obey God and everything in this life will turn out alright.

And then there were the things you did just so that you were still in the club:

Read your Bible.

Pray.

Sing songs.

Make sure not to cuss.

But when I looked back at the Bible, it was clear that I had deceived myself for it is written in black and white and sometimes, red. Couldn’t be mistaken.

In the end:

A transformed heart

Receive the truth

A life that glorifies God

Experiencing true love

Eternal life with God

Etc.

The journey to these:

Love God with my whole being

Love my neighbor as myself (including my enemies)

Denying myself and taking up my cross daily

Give to the poor

Go into all the world and make disciples

Purity (in all its forms)

Be gracious, merciful and giving

Etc.

Stipulations:

Cannot love both God and money

You will suffer for following Jesus

People will most likely hate you and persecute you if you follow Jesus with everything you have.

It should look like you hate your family in comparison to how much you love God

You must let go of everything that would stop you from obtaining the prize, reward, or whatever you want to call it.

You must be willing to speak the truth, whether times are fair or not.

Etc.

It was clear. I wasn’t living for myself or my desires anymore. But His. This is what I had signed up for. Or rather, this is what God gave me the privilege of being a part of.

What I realized in the end: It is all worth it in the end.

You see, I may have been deceived. But Jesus wasn’t the one that had told me the lies.

In fact, he gives warning to all those that would follow him:

If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. ²⁷ And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.

 ²⁸ “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? ²⁹ Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. ³⁰ They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’
 ³¹ “Or what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching against him? ³² And if he can’t, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is still far away. ³³ So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own.” (Luke 14:26-32)


Count the cost. This is not a one and done thing. This is a fight to the finish. We are at war with things we cannot see.


Keep up the good fight. Take heart.