Questions: Power or Illusion

“Ta-Dah…(laugh) It’s gone…”

Magic.

I am captivated by magic tricks.

The disappearing of dice, balls, helicopters, humans. The retrieval of a specific card out of its deck. The bullet catch. The ingestion of billiard balls. The quick change.  The walking through walls. The transportation of a coin from a hand to underneath the skin. The pocket thief.

My eyes are glued to the magician’s every move, waiting to see if I can catch a glimpse of his “powers”.

How does he do it?

I would sit for hours, dumb-founded trying to understand these seemingly impossible feats.

“Where did the card go? How did he cut that person in half? Did he really just guess that person’s driver license number? Could this be real?”

This is what I wanted to do with my life. Magic. This must be what true power felt like.

But then…I learned.

Misdirection.

The look over here as I slip this card into my pocket. The switch off of balls into different cups. The mirrors. The curtains. The secrets.

The illusion.

There is something still mesmerizing about magic, except now I’m not looking to be amazed. I’m looking for the secret. The catch. The scam.

It was a letdown, to know that behind this amazing feat, was just fakeness.

The illusion of power

“Is there such thing as real power?”

That was my question. All of these tricks must be based on something real, right? It can’t all be counterfeit.

And maybe that’s what I thought of God growing up.

The Ultimate Magician.

That if I asked him to make this or that appear or disappear, he was at my beck and call to use his mighty powers.

The give me peace right now. The help me remember everything so I will pass this test. The give me the lead part in the school play. The let this song or text bring me comfort and joy. The bring money to me so I don’t have to worry about finances.

I would sit in church, youth service, my bed. Anxiously anticipating these supernatural signs that would bring me peace about his existence and about my life.

I waited, and waited, and waited, and waited.

The letdown came.

Did God really have that power?

Or was it just an illusion?

Was I getting fooled as others made fun of belief in Him?

It seemed like this power wasn’t real.

That everything was, simply put, just an illusion.

Ever been there?

All these questions of how and why and seemingly no answer or response?

That maybe you've been fooled?

Been there. It’s not fun. At all.

But…the truth is…this power… God’s power

It’s not an illusion.

It’s real. The magicians wish they had these powers but they can’t touch it.

You may ask: how do I know that it’s real?

Let me tell you

2012 has been a year for the history books for my family.

No, we aren’t starving in a third world country.

No, I’m not in danger of losing my life on a daily basis.

No, I am not struggling (currently) to pay for bills.

But this has, by far, been the most trying year of my life.

In January, my grandma passed away.

I have had two family members get engaged and begin full time work to try and support their loved ones.

I have dated and broken up.

I have graduated from college, and seen my younger bro graduate from high school and move off to college.

My older bro had kidney stone surgery , twice.

My great grandma passed away last week.

I could go on…

And yet through all the tribulation, something deep inside has kept us all grounded. Our heads above water. A peace which passes all understanding…

Where did that come from?

There is no illusion. There is peace. But how? Why? Where?

His power.

Still think I’m fooled?

I was driving home with my stuff loaded up in my car from college. I was about to embrace being an adult. I had no idea as to where to start, what jobs to apply for, what I should be doing.

It was emotionally draining since I knew that I may never see some of my college friends again. And that’s when it started.

My battery light came on. This car had been through a lot but nothing seemed this severe before. That light could have come at a worse moment. I called my college roommate and asked him what he thought was wrong. In mid conversation, my check engine light comes on and my AC gives out.

I’m in nowhere Oklahoma. What am I supposed to do? He tells me to pull of the road. I call my mom to explain the situation, which she is not too happy to hear. My roommate calls me and tells me to go down one more exit to some shop he found online. So I do it.

I get to the shop and they tell me both my belt lines need to be replaced. And this is where the real magic happened….

The owner of the store, as we are talking about the car, asks me where I was headed (Flower Mound) , what college I went to and I say OU. He asks what I did in college, and ashamed, I say theater. He kinda laughs, which confused me.

I sit down, trying to figure out what has gone wrong with my life. The owner walks out with the bill and, I kid you not, this is what happened:

Owner: “The reason I asked you all that stuff is that I am on a board at a theater in Lewisville (town next to Flower Mound) and we are looking for young people who are interested in directing? Are you interested?”

Me “Yeah!”

Owner: “Do you have a resume?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry I don’t.”

Owner: “ That’s ok.  (pulls out business card and writes on back) Here is who you need to get in touch with and their email. And if you can’t reach them, then here is my personal information. We will work something out.” (Smiles)

Me: (on the verge of tears) “Thank you so much!”

Owner: “And it’s a good thing you graduated from OU because that’s where I graduated too.”

…

Power or illusion?

I never knew about this theater before happening to breakdown in Ardmore, Oklahoma, and pulling up to this mechanic shop.

I have now been employed by this theater, teaching middle school and high school students drama every Monday night. And my pursuit, before ever knowing about this theater or this job, was to be a high school theater teacher.

Just when I thought I was broken, lost, and abandoned, I saw the power. Like 2 Corinthians 4. I am the jar of clay and His power, His Spirit, is the treasure.

I guess it’s not an illusion of power but the power of the illusion.

When I’m weak, You are strong.